By the time this column goes to press, Election Day 2012 will be upon us. I will have to go to the polls and do my civic duty.

I received my sample ballot in the mail two weeks ago. All the bond issues and loans are on it, as well as those running for circuit court judge, the United States Senate, the House of Representatives and the president and vice president of the United States.

There is even a list of the write-in candidates for the House of Representatives, the United States Senate and the president and vice president. Imagine my reaction when I got to the sixth name down on the list of president/vice president write-in candidates—  “Santa Claus, Nevada, Independent.”

I had no idea that Mr. Claus lived in Nevada, as opposed to the North Pole. I am considering writing in Mr. Claus’ name for president, because if we can’t trust jolly old St. Nick to run the country, then what’s the point?

However, I’m going to the polls to vote more for or against the ballot questions than to vote for those running for office. There are three specific ballot questions I will definitely vote against, that I might have voted for, if proponents of the questions hadn’t insulted my intelligence with their ads.

As you might have guessed, those were Questions 4, 6 and 7.

Question 4 is the referendum petition on the law that allows the children of undocumented immigrants to attend Maryland colleges at in-state tuition rates.

This is only fair, proponents of the law tell us. They’ve run ads telling us how fair it is.

No, it isn’t fair. We have come to a point in this country where we have to make a decision: either we’re going to punish those that engage in illegal conduct, or we’re going to reward the illegal conduct.

Voting for Question 4 is, essentially, a vote for rewarding illegal conduct. That is fine, if you believe that illegal conduct should indeed be rewarded. But using this logic, I should not have to pay the $40 fine the city just hit me with for speeding through an intersection. Using the logic of those who support Question 4, the city should pay ME $40 for speeding through the intersection.

I don’t know if Question 4 will be voted either up or down. However, when the city pays me my 40 bucks for speeding through the intersection, I’ll be more than happy to support the law that allows illegal immigrants to attend Maryland colleges and universities at the in-state tuition rate.

I can’t turn to a local TV station without running into an ad urging me to vote for Question 6, the one about Maryland’s same-sex marriage law passed by the Legislature and signed into law by Gov. Martin O’Malley.

Several black pastors have tried to convince me to vote for Question 6, again bringing up that “f” word— fairness— to justify their position. The law will protect religious freedom, they have assured me, because it would not force any church or pastor of a church to perform a same-sex wedding ceremony if it is against the church’s or pastor’s beliefs.

Heavens, do they believe such nonsense? Here is what will happen if Question 6 passes: within a couple of years, some same-sex couple will bring a lawsuit against a church or pastor to be named later, claiming that the church’s or pastor’s refusal to marry them violates their constitutional rights.

Judges will rule in their favor and the churches and pastors opposed to performing same-sex marriage ceremonies will then be required by law to perform them.

And those pastors— whom I would have more respect for if they simply admit they’ve put their party (Democrat) first and their religion second— would have aided and abetted them.

Don’t think that will happen? Trust me on this one: the same-sex couple or couples who will file such a suit HAVE ALREADY BEEN SELECTED.

That leaves Question 7, about expanded casino gambling. After that commercial featuring former Baltimore Ravens lineman Jonathan Ogden and Mayor Stephanie “VROOM! VROOM!” Rawlings-Blake, I’m voting against it. Really, Ms. Mayor? Really?

Shi’Dea Lane: Not Flair Trained. If you don’t know Lane by name, perhaps you know her by the video that recently went viral. Surely you’ve heard about— or perhaps even seen— the video of the Cleveland bus driver who delivered a George Foreman-esque uppercut to the chin of a female passenger?

Lane was the passenger, although that might not be an accurate description. She boarded the bus without paying, then got into a beef with Artis Hughes, the bus driver.

As hard luck would have it— and as if black folks haven’t suffered enough already—  both Hughes and Lane are black. (But you could tell that about Lane by her ebonically charming first name “Shi’Dea,” couldn’t you?) And the video provides a classic demonstration of that ever-enduring African-American adage: “Some Negroes just don’t know how to act.”

Of course, some have embellished that adage by using that much more colorful and controversial “n” word some of us hate and some of us— yes, think rapper Jay-Z here—can’t do without. But whichever word is used, the gist of the adage remains the same.

The adage applies to both Lane and Hughes, who has received quite a bit of public support since he clocked Lane. Witnesses on the bus also supported Hughes. They claimed Lane grabbed him by the throat and spat in his face before he rose from his driver’ seat and hit her.

However Hughes, who at 59 should have had the wiser head that prevailed, didn’t have to indulge Lane in her attempts to ratchet up a beef that didn’t have to happen. Hughes threatening to bring his daughter and granddaughter to the scene to beat Lane up and commenting about a scar on her face were completely unnecessary.

Still, Lane displayed far worse conduct. She told Hughes she’d beat up both his daughter and granddaughter then added, “Bring your mammy up here and I’ll beat her [up] too.”

Of course Lane, not being Flair trained, didn’t use the word “up.” She used a word that rhymes with “gas.” Then she called Hughes the dreaded “b” word, called his mother the same thing and then grabbed Hughes by the throat and spat in his face.

After Hughes decked Lane with the uppercut, he grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and threw her bodily off the bus. That’s when Lane went into full-blown ghetto mode.

She rushed back on the bus and continued the fight. Hughes was now not only the “b” word, but also the “n” word as well. Lane threatened to bring “my n***a” to the scene to “beat the black off” of Hughes.

Clearly, the woman isn’t what I call Flair trained. By that I mean she has never been to either dance, modeling or etiquette classes at the Flair Studio of Dance and Modeling.

Some full disclosure here: I’m a great friend of Willia Bland, who founded Flair 44-years ago, just after the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The same applies to her daughter, model and Flair vice president Andrea Bland Travis, as well as Bland’s three granddaughters.

There is a reason I’m so close to the family and Flair: I wholeheartedly believe in Flair’s mission, which is to teach girls not only modeling and dancing, but also decorum, etiquette and the proper way for young LADIES to act.

Yes, Willia Bland, Andrea Travis and the entire Flair family aren’t afraid to use those two words: “lady” and “ladies.” They realize that even in this world that seems overrun by a brand of radical feminism that eschews the terms “lady” and “ladies” that girls still need to be taught to act like ladies.

Besides, what’s more radically feminist than two women who have run their own business that has lasted more than 40 years?

I’ve observed the conduct of girls today, and I know that Flair is needed now more than ever.

Lane could certainly have benefited from taking a few classes in etiquette and decorum at Flair. Her conduct on that bus was loud, abusive, uncouth and downright disgraceful. She wasn’t trying to be a lady at all.

In fact, Lane acted as if she was trying to prove how much man she was. Well, now she knows.

Not man enough to take on Artis Hughes. Memo to Lane: Better get to Baltimore and take some etiquette and decorum classes at Flair, gal.

I was at least 12, no more than 13 years old when I first saw Clarence Mitchell III.

He was a state delegate then. In fact, he had just been elected to the Maryland House of Delegates.

What is happening to the Republican National Committee (RNC) in the state of Florida and in other important swing states concerning the issues of voter fraud and voter suppression is like a glaring, unexpected climax of a Shakespearean drama.

The United States of America owes its birth to European immigrants in pursuit of religious freedom. Yet, the descendants of these same men and women fueled our founding country’s economy with slavery, slaughter and the systematic displacement of Native Americans.

Open letter to Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake and Baltimore Police Commissioner Anthony Batts

Dear Mayor Rawlings-Blake and Commissioner Batts:

The medical examiner recently ruled that the death of Anthony Anderson Sr.,

Have you ever known that something was going to happen, but were still shocked when it actually happened? Well, to my dismay, I have just had that happen to me. I have been telling my fellow Republicans for months that by October,

In an effort to win the war against childhood obesity two new subjects have been added to the old education adage. Children’s health leaders are encouraging schools to be the place where students learn about reading, writing, arithmetic, eating and exercise.