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Don’t be so hard on yourself

By Nikki Abraham, Nucleus Team Member, Positively Caviar, Inc. During the quarantine, I had a moment where I broke down because of the want and need for everything to return to normal. In the mids | 5/12/2020, 11:08 a.m.
During the quarantine, I had a moment where I broke down because of the want and need for everything to ...
Nikki Abraham,Nucleus Team Member, Positively Caviar, Inc. Courtesy Photo

During the quarantine, I had a moment where I broke down because of the want and need for everything to return to normal. In the midst of my tears, the reason for my sadness transitioned from the impact of the pandemic on my mental state to ultimately feeling badly about feeling bad. I still have a job, my health, and community while there are people dealing with illness and going without food, housing and employment so do I even really deserve to be unhappy about my situation? If you’re wondering, the answer is yes.

Through several conversations, I came to the realization that I’m not the only person struggling with navigating my feelings during this emotionally challenging time. It’s important for everyone to realize your emotions are valid. Having a moment of weakness does not make you weak it actually makes you human.

Acknowledging the moment and being in touch with your emotional state is the first step toward healing. Allow yourself, to feel everything and be present in all emotions. Then, also give yourself space to let those feelings go. Anxiety, uncertainty and frustration during this time, is completely normal and should be expected. However, the question is how you are dealing with this anxiety?

I find myself saying the Serenity Prayer daily: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” One thing you do have control over is your attitude. It’s important to be intentional about your resiliency. Once you have a negative thought don’t allow it to fester but instead, challenge negative thoughts with neutral and positive thoughts.

Now is also the perfect time to fully take advantage of your community. I learned that it is vital to have a support system whether they’re present virtually or in-person. Communication and expression of love is needed now more than ever. I also learned that it’s okay to speak about your thoughts and feelings and to ask for help. I’ve utilized online therapy services, which are available during this time if needed. I’ve also taken full advantage of communicating with my loved ones on videos apps like Facetime, Zoom, and House Party.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve come across tweets and Instagram posts with the intent to belittle others if they aren’t thriving during the pandemic or being productive in the sense of starting podcast, writing a new book, or learning a new language. If you happen to come across this content on social media do yourself a favor and keep scrolling as these posts negate the fact that all of our situations are different. Be cognizant of about whom you follow on social media being mindful that not all Instagram pages have your best interest at heart.

Processing the situation and figuring out how to sort your emotions takes time. Here’s a gentle reminder that you don’t have to have everything figured out. Being self-quarantined does not mean you have to become superhuman and you definitely don’t have to make the most out of a global pandemic.

Positively Caviar, Inc. is a nonprofit organization focused on a message of positivity and optimism. To learn more about our organization, the nucleus team or how you join our positive movement, visit: staybasedandpositive.com.