Caring for the Caregiver: Why Your Well-Being Matters Just as Much as the Ones You Love

“There are only four kinds of people in the world — those who have been caregivers, those who are caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.” Former First Lady, Rosalynn Carter

No matter who we are or where we come from, caregiving touches every one of us. And yet, in the rush to tend to everyone else’s needs, one truth often goes unspoken: Caregivers need care, too.

November is traditionally a month of gratitude and gathering, but it is also National Family Caregivers Month and Diabetes Awareness Month — two observances that remind us how deeply health, family, stress, and responsibility are intertwined. According to the CDC, African Americans have an age-adjusted diabetes mortality rate of more than 40 percent. Nearly 40% of caregivers identify as BIPOC, and within our communities, caregiving begins younger, lasts longer, and often comes with higher emotional and financial strain.

This reality came into sharp focus for me earlier this year.

On August 2, I had the privilege of presenting my workshop “Nourishing the Nurturer” at the inaugural MPT Caregiver Expo. You can watch replay here: You can watch the replay here. Caregiver Expo – What I expected to be another speaking engagement became something much more profound. The stories, exhaustion, hope, and resilience in that room felt familiar — because like so many, I, too, have been on a caregiving journey. Mine began with a phone call from my college roommate in Texas: blood clots, emergency surgery, intensive care. For more than a year, during the height of COVID, I became her long-distance caregiver — splitting my time between Maryland and Texas, hospitals and home, fear and faith.

That experience taught me something essential: It was only because I took the time to care for my own physical and mental, that my ability to care for her was not compromised.

And that theme only deepened last week at Maryland Hall in Annapolis at the We C.A.R.E. Conference™, a transformational event created by Shari Bailey, founder of Laila’s Gift®, a nonprofit honoring families of all abilities. We C.A.R.E. — which stands for Caregivers, Advocates, Resources & Education — brought families, professionals, and community partners into one powerful space of learning and renewal. I had the honor of hosting a panel of caregivers whose stories reminded me why this work is so urgent.

There was Michael Nash, co-founder of Laila’s Gift®, who cares for both his daughter and an aging parent. Mackenzie Wardrope, whose daughter Adelaide lives with the rare SCN8A condition. Bobby Anderson, a father navigating complex medical systems for his twin sons. Robert Haines, the devoted father of a nonverbal autistic adult son. And Franchón Crews-Dezurn, Baltimore’s own undisputed Super Middleweight Boxing Champion, who cared for her mother for more than a decade while fighting — literally and figuratively — for her family.

When I spoke with Franchón a few days after the conference, she shared candidly how caregiving forced her to prioritize her own well-being. Her reflections were raw, real, and deeply resonant. Here are a few insights that stayed with me.

1. The Moment Caregiving Became a Fight for Her Mother’s Life

“There were moments when things got dire — life-or-death dire — and I couldn’t fall apart in front of my mother. Even when everything in me wanted to crumble, I had to stand there, look her in her eyes, and choose strength. Caregiving wasn’t gentle. It was a fight. And some days, it felt like I was fighting for her life.”

2. On Learning the Difference Between Fighting to Win and Fighting to Survive

“In boxing, you fight to win. You go in with a strategy, with confidence, with a plan. But caregiving? Caregiving taught me what it means to fight to survive — to fight because somebody else’s life depends on your strength. That’s a different kind of battle.”

3. The Toll of Being Strong All the Time

“People see a champion and think I’m always strong. But caregiving showed me my limits. It taught me that strength isn’t about never breaking — it’s about knowing when you need help, too.”

4. The Power of Her Husband’s Support

“When I was drained or breaking down, he would look at me and say, ‘Get yourself together. I got your back. I’ll take care of it.’ Those words kept me going. Caregivers need someone who reminds them they’re not alone.”

5. What Her Mother’s Final Moments Taught Her

“I’m grateful I was there in those final moments. My mother was a fighter. She fought to be here, she fought through pain, she fought through fear. Being by her side taught me that caregiving is love in its purest form. It is sacrifice. And it is sacred.”

6. How Caregiving Shaped Her Identity Beyond Boxing

“Boxing made me a champion. But caregiving made me a warrior. One day, you’re in the ring fighting an opponent. The next, you’re in a hospital fighting for someone you love. You learn quickly that both require heart, discipline, and faith.”

7. The Reason Self-Care Became Non-Negotiable

“I realized that if I didn’t take care of myself, I couldn’t take care of her. You can’t pour from an empty cup — but caregivers try to every day. I had to learn that choosing myself wasn’t selfish. It was survival.”

Hearing Franchón speak so openly about the emotional, physical, and spiritual weight of caregiving brought me back to the larger truth at the heart of this work: caregivers carry enormous responsibility, often without support, rest, or acknowledgment. Her story is deeply personal, but it’s also universal — reflecting what so many caregivers across Maryland and the nation face every single day.

The Caregiving Burden on Black Families

Caregiving takes a toll on anyone, but it lands especially hard on Black families. We face:

Higher Intensity Care

Black caregivers often provide more hours of unpaid care per week than any other demographic group.

Younger Caregiver Age

Many of us begin our caregiving years earlier, often while juggling young children, jobs, and aging parents.

Financial and Systemic Barriers

From medical discrimination to lack of culturally competent care, too many caregivers feel unseen, unheard, and unsupported. Many operate in a constant state of crisis — one unexpected bill away from collapse.

Isolation

More than a fourth of African American caregivers report having no one — no neighbor, friend, or family member — who can offer support.

Health Consequences

The emotional strain of caregiving is profound. Chronic stress contributes to burnout, depression, and increased health risks, including diabetes, hypertension, and immune suppression.

And yet, we continue. Not because we have to, but because love calls us to show up.

Community Support Is Growing — But More Is Needed

Maryland is home to several strong caregiver resources:

Maryland Commission on Caregiving
Local county support programs
Maryland Community First Choice (through Medicaid)
Alzheimer’s Association, Greater Maryland Chapter
Black Nurses Association of Baltimore

And important culturally rooted organizations are doing critical work:

Binti Circle

An intergenerational community founded by Dawnita Brown, created specifically for Black daughters caring for their mothers.

Coffee, Tea & Me (CTAM)

Founded by Shirl Parnell, CTAM provides a safe and celebratory space for caregivers, particularly those who often feel overlooked in their roles.

These organizations remind us that caregivers deserve a sense of community. They deserve nourishment. And they deserve to be seen.

Because You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup

If you are a caregiver, this is your reminder:

Your needs matter.
Your rest matters.
Your well-being is not optional.

And when we care for ourselves — when we feed our bodies, nurture our emotions, set boundaries, and seek support — we show up stronger for the people who depend on us.

That’s why I created The Caregiver’s Nourishment Kit — a gentle, practical workbook designed as a soft-landing place for the people who give so much and receive so little. Inside, you’ll find:

Compassionate guidance
Simple planning tools
Journaling prompts
Communication scripts
Emergency meal ideas
Emotional “refill” exercises

It is both a companion and a lifeline — a reminder that you are worthy of the same care you give so freely.

A Call to Baltimore Organizations

My work — from keynote speaking to workshops to panel facilitation — is dedicated to transforming how communities understand and support caregivers. If your organization serves families, seniors, professionals, or health-focused audiences, this is the moment to bring this conversation forward.

I am available for: