Pamela (Pam) Howard, a Charles County resident, knows what it is like to face a tough decision about a loved one’s legacy.
Her son, Anthony Howard, was 26 years old when tragedy struck on September 1, 2018. He was a joyful music lover and “boy next door” type who was employed as a case manager that helped people.
“A friend found Anthony unresponsive and called 911,” said his mother, Pamela Howard. “On the 10th day [of September], he was declared brain dead.”
After Anthony’s brain activity was tested a final time, Pamela was faced with making a big decision. Initially, she did not want to donate her son’s organs at the time of his passing. When a Washington Regional Transplant Center (WRTC) representative who had spoken with her about organ donation turned to walk away, Pamela abruptly changed her mind.
Anthony’s mother stated that her son had always been a giver who would help anyone. He possessed a smile that could light up a room. Circumstances took his illuminating expression, rendering it a sweet memory, but Pamela embraced the courage to do something. She decided to allow her son’s heart, kidneys, liver and various organs to be donated to help others who needed them.
Photo courtesy of Pamela Howard
WRTC mailed a letter to Pam thanking her for donating her son’s organs. She was given brief information about each recipient.
“I wanted those people to take care of what they had gotten to know and connect with Anthony more than just an organ. I wanted them to know who he was. So, I wrote letters to my family advocator. She sent letters to the families. Everybody responded except for the woman who received a kidney,” Pamela recalled.
Dean Elgin received Anthony’s donated heart. Elgin met Pamela because she reached out to people who received her son’s organs.
Elgin recounted how he connected personally with Pam.
“There are many rules to the transplant process to protect the privacy of both donor and recipient. If either wants to reach out to the other, they send a letter to what was then called the Washington Regional Transplant Center (now Infinite Legacy). The staff notifies the parties that a letter has come and asks if they want it. I’m not much of a writer, so we actually got a note from Pam first. They asked if we wanted to meet, which of course we did! So, we met for the first time at WRTC,” he said.
Anthony’s heart donation saved Elgin’s life.
“My heart had been failing for a few years and I had to use something called a left ventricular assist device or LVAD, which is a battery-operated heart machine. The doctors determined a heart transplant was the only way to keep me alive. Anthony’s heart came at the right time for me and was the right size,” Elgin explained. “I am extremely grateful to Anthony and his family. It is emotional to know I benefited from someone else’s tragedy. Their decision and generosity have given me the ability to have a good life. It is beyond words. It is a miracle.”
Pamela met her son’s thankful donor and his wife, Carina Elgin, in 2019. Then, Pamela had another experience that money could not buy.
Pamela added, “I heard Anthony’s heartbeat. It made me really understand the gift of giving as an organ donor. Hearing his heartbeat gave me calm in the midst of what I was going through.”
She was informed that Elgin was able to walk his daughter down the aisle. That probably would not have happened if Pamela had not allowed her son’s organs to be donated on that difficult day.
Elgin added, “I would have been dead five years ago without Anthony’s gift, and I have expectations to live a long life. It is overwhelming to try to express my gratitude. “I encourage everyone to consider becoming a donor.”
Anthony’s mother believes that her son’s purpose was greater in his death than it was in his living. She became an organ donor and volunteer ambassador for what is now Infinite Legacy. Pamela began educating people about false narratives connected to organ donation by providing accurate information at events.
Pamela also started The A-Sicka Heals Foundation (ASHF) in 2019. The nonprofit organization raises awareness about mental illness and substance abuse, to prevent children and young adults from developing addictions, in memory of Anthony. Scholarships for college-bound graduates have been provided through it.
“I encourage everyone to consider becoming a donor,” Elgin said.
Please visit Donate Life Maryland via https://www.donatelifemaryland.org/ to learn more about organ, eye and tissue donation.
